Emotional Congruence: Action Steps Towards Resiliency - Part 2

As a continuation on this topic, I would start with a quote from Viktor Frankl which states, "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances“ In this statement is a profound concept of our ability and freedom to chose my attitude and meaning I assign to any give circumstance. I would encourage you, as well as myself, to take a deep breath of reflection to make the effort to be curious about that question. In my relationship, career, socialization, fractured trusts what attitude am I choosing to walk with. Who am I being in this circumstance? 

From the first article we discussed three objectives: 1) Define the term Congruence as it relates to Biopsychosocial wellness. 2) Increase awareness of Reward Prediction Error and its impact on Quality of Life. 3) Overview of Polyvagal system and its impact beyond survival / sympathetic nervous system activations. Am I choosing to increase my awareness of who I am being in this situation, is this moment? Is my current attitude towards this situation moving me closer to the person I want to be or moving me further away? 

In this article we will outline three additional objectives: 

• DEFINE CONGRUENCE

• INCREASE AWARENESS POST TRAUMATIC GROWTH AS IT RELATES TO HABIT FORMATION

• EVALUATE CURRENT USE OF RAS (RETICULAR ACTIVATING SYSTEM) AS A TOOL OF EMPOWERMENT TO FAMILY / SOCIAL INTERACTION

There is a term, Post Traumatic Growth is presented in an effort to increase our ability to know there is a research based framework that began in the 1980’s by Dr. Richard Tedeschi and Dr. Lawrence Calhoun that has defined Five Elements and has outlined a path of self-efficacy for military, 1st Responders and those that have experienced significant crisis. The Five element of the frame includes:

1. Personal Strength

2. Close Relationships

3. Greater Appreciation for Life

4. New Possibilities

5. 5. Spiritual Development

As an action step towards self-evaluation, I recommend using the S.W.O.T Framework. We self-assess our Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. This is recommended from the internal perspective of those five elements. Keep in mind this framework is not new, it is commonly used in many applications. For our purposes we will apply this towards evaluating our Self-Congruence and our ability to evaluate if my actions match my internal condition. It is in this way that we will increase our competence to work towards what we want in our lives rather than what we do not want. We become intentional in our pursuits.

It is at this point we will recall our discussion on Ventral Anchors that we reviewed in our first session. I have included them below.

Ventral Anchors – Anchoring in Safety 

1. Who. Reflect on the people in your life and make a list of the ones who bring you a feeling of being safe and welcome. You might also have a pet who fills that role. First identify a person or pet who is present in your life. Then, if you wish, you can expand your search to also include people who are no longer living, people you haven’t met but who bring your ventral vagal state alive, and spiritual figures.

2. What. Think about what you do that brings your ventral vagal state alive. Look for small actions that feel nourishing and inviting of connection. Keep track of the things that bring moments, or micro-moments, of ventral vagal regulation.

3. Where. Take a tour of your world and find the physical places that bring you cues of safety. Look around your home, your neighborhood, your community, your workplace, a place you feel a spiritual connection. Recall the everyday places you move through. Take note of the environments and name the ones that activate your ventral vagal state.

4. When. Identify the moments in time when you feel anchored in your ventral vagal energy. Take a moment to go back and revisit those experiences. Bring them into conscious awareness and write them down.

5. Create a portfolio of your ventral vagal anchors. Decide how you want to gather your anchors together in one place: write them in a notebook, illustrate them in a journal, make a list and hang it in a prominent place, write on sticky notes and put them around your home and at work in places that are easy to see. Experiment and find the way that works for you, making sure you have easy access to your anchors.

Let us be diligent in our curiosity towards wellness. This is a time to become an active participant is our own rescue, to observe who we are being and intentionally stay true to ourselves and walk in our integrity hono our values within the five domains that Dr. Tedeschi mentions within the Post Traumatic Growth Framework.

If you or a family member are having any issues with mental health or relationships, please reach out for help. Responder Health (responderhealth.com) is an organization that offers resources specifically for first responders and their families. Responder Health provides confidential and full-service solutions that support first responders through stress and traumatic events, and provides them with the education, resources, and community they need to live healthy, happy lives.

Our peer advocate hotline (253) 243-3701 offers a confidential 24-hour crisis referral service for all public safety employees, all emergency services personnel, and their family members nationwide.