Emotional Congruence: Action Steps Towards Resiliency

As we navigate our various experiences from the from a 1^st Responder perspective, it has become critical to increase a level of awareness and competency as it relates to “internal congruence”. 

In this brief article we want to capture three elements that can produce momentum in our ability to practice a level of resiliency that equals sustainable wellness.  

• Define the term Congruence as it relates to Biopsychosocial wellness.

• Increase awareness of Reward Prediction Error and its impact on Quality of Life.

• Overview of Polyvagal system and its impact beyond survival / sympathetic nervous system activations.

Many times, we hear people say, “I should have known better” and “I should have caught this earlier”.   I would submit that our self-talk is filled with self-judgement that may qualify as cognitive distortions.  How would we know if we have never been taught.  Giving ourselves license / permission to learn about internal regulation and/or internal congruence can be a lifesaving proposition.  

Self-Congruence: 

• Carl Rogers, a prominent psychologist, used congruence to describe a healthy state where a person's ideal self (who they wish to be) is consistent with their actual self (who they are and how they experience themselves).

Incongruence: 

• The opposite, incongruence, occurs when there's a significant mismatch between one's self-perception and their actual experiences, which can lead to distress and psychological difficulties.

It is this application I would like to explore with you.  To accomplish that I will use a term referred to as Reward Prediction Error (RPE).  This is a term that comes from Neuroscience that describes the difference between an “expected reward” and the “actual reward” received.  This applies to various ‘zones” of our life, be it career, relationships, investments, as well as substances. Positive Reward Prediction Error occurs when a reward received is better than expected.  Negative Prediction Error occurs when the reward is worse than expected and Zero Prediction Error is when the reward matches the predicted reward.  In this case dopamine neuron activity remains at the baseline level.

There are action steps we want to implement to participate in our own rescue from the emotional toll that can become debilitating.  Emotional Congruence is for us to strive towards internal stability so as to enjoy the quality of life that in some ways are impacts by external stimuli.  In this way we are being “true to ourselves.”  John Maxwell often reminds us, “…to know myself is to grow myself.”

During your career, at some point you are learning about the Survival Response and Operative Conditioning, it is very useful in training and moving through crisis situations.  I would like to expand on this thought by introducing you to Polyvagal theory which includes Sympathetic / Parasympathetic and focus in on a part of Parasympathetic component called Ventral Vagal (Calming element that allows us to down regulate).  By increasing our awareness of who I am being in the moment it lends to our ability to be intentional of what we are focusing on.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines an anchor as “something that serves to hold an object firmly; a reliable support.” 

A ventral vagal anchor holds the connection to the energy of your ventral vagal system when experiences threaten to pull you into a sympathetic or dorsal vagal state. 

You can use your anchors by reconnecting to the anchor or by activating the memory of the anchor. With regular practice, ventral vagal anchors strengthen your capacity to return to regulation. 

Five Action Steps are outlined as:

1. Who. Reflect on the people in your life and make a list of the ones who bring you a feeling of being safe and welcome. You might also have a pet who fills that role. First identify a person or pet who is present in your life. Then, if you wish, you can expand your search to also include people who are no longer living, people you haven’t met but who bring your ventral vagal state alive, and spiritual figures.

2. What. Think about what you do that brings your ventral vagal state alive. Look for small actions that feel nourishing and inviting of connection. Keep track of the things that bring moments, or micro-moments, of ventral vagal regulation. 

3. Where. Take a tour of your world and find the physical places that bring you cues of safety. Look around your home, your neighborhood, your community, your workplace, a place you feel a spiritual connection. Recall the everyday places you move through. Take note of the environments and name the ones that activate your ventral vagal state. 

4. When. Identify the moments in time when you feel anchored in your ventral vagal energy. Take a moment to go back and revisit those experiences. Bring them into conscious awareness and write them down. 

5. Create a portfolio of your ventral vagal anchors. Decide how you want to gather your anchors together in one place: write them in a notebook, illustrate them in a journal, make a list and hang it in a prominent place, write on sticky notes and put them around your home and at work in places that are easy to see. Experiment and find the way that works for you, making sure you have easy access to your anchors. 

If you or a family member are having any issues with mental health or relationships, please reach out for help. Responder Health (responderhealth.com) is an organization that offers resources specifically for first responders and their families. Responder Health provides confidential and full-service solutions that support first responders through stress and traumatic events, and provides them with the education, resources, and community they need to live healthy, happy lives.

Our peer advocate hotline (253) 243-3701 offers a confidential 24-hour crisis referral service for all public safety employees, all emergency services personnel, and their family members nationwide.