THE JOB ENDS: WHAT'S NEXT?

The job ends in one of three ways, by choice, incident or accident. Are you prepared for the departure? Most of us only think about the financial implications of leaving the job and are ill prepared for the mental and emotional toll it may take. The process of moving from 1^st responder to productive, happy, fulfilled civilian doesn’t just happen. Let’s look at the process.

 Let’s start with choice, the number of years for pension and benefits is met and you ride off into the sunset.  What are your plans when you finally turn in your gear? Leaving by choice, retirement, is more a process than an event. It happens in stages. Stage one -everything is wonderful you no longer have to set an alarm. You are free to travel without having to put in for vacation or a shift swap! Indulge in hobbies, golf till you drop and binge NetFlix. But what happens when you have perfected your golf swing, visited foreign lands and binge watched till your eyes bleed? Typically, we slide into stage two. Stage two is the part most aren’t prepared for, the emotional and mental turmoil that can occur when the job ends. I’ll pause talking about the stages until we cover incident and accident.

Next is incident; ever flat out make a mistake that could cost you your job? A moment of poor judgement or a physical mistake due to exhaustion, low visibility, inclement weather or any other myriads of possible distractions and factors not excluding the fact that your human and every now and then we all screw the pooch! What if you’re doing everything you're supposed to be doing, when you're supposed to be doing it, in the way it's supposed to be done, to the best of your ability. But somebody's filming you on their cell phone and the angle they have makes it look like you're doing something inappropriate. Can that cost you your job? If you said yes that means you believe you can lose your job for something completely beyond your control when you're doing the very best you can.

Finally, there’s accident, we all know exists, but few prepare for this possibility. Can anyone in good conscience disagree with the statement that it’s not a matter of if we get hurt it’s just a matter of when and how bad?

Now back to stage two, it’s all about loss… loss of friends, routine, purpose and identity. This can lead to isolation and depression. Stage two starts for the choice group with the question of ‘is this it’? If you leave the job by incident or accident, no stage one for these poor bastards (I fall under accident; a spinal fusion took me outta the game) Incident and accident go right to stage two!  How quickly you come to grips with the fact that you are not the job and it was an honorable profession, not a characteristic trait, the more willing you will be to look for new purpose. With renewed purpose comes new routines and friends. Looking for new purpose brings us to stage three.

Stage three begins with a question – what do you want to do? If you are stuck in the mindset of being a 1^st responder is all I know, I assure you it’s not All you know it’s WHAT you currently know and you were clueless as a rookie! My point is you were taught how to do the JOB you can be taught how to do something else. Follow the question “what do I want?” with the attitude of “let’s try this”. You may start applying for new meaningful work or volunteer with at a charity you believe in, start your own business or pick up a creative hobby. When you find your niche that’s when it all comes together again in stage 4, Ikigai!

Ikigai pronounced (iky-guy) is a Japanese word that loosely translates into the reason you get up in the morning. Its when purpose meets passion, its something that you enjoy that the world needs. Something your good at and you can get paid for doing. 

If you want to retire and sit on your front porch swing and watch your grand kids grow up -have at it you don’t owe anyone, you have been enough. However, if you feel you are not done yet, and are not willing to settle for what you’ve accomplished so far, GO and GET something you’ve always wanted! 

If you or a family member are having any issues with mental health or relationships, please reach out for help. Responder Health (responderhealth.com) is an organization that offers resources specifically for first responders and their families. Responder Health provides confidential and full-service solutions that support first responders through stress and traumatic events, and provides them with the education, resources, and community they need to live healthy, happy lives.

Our peer advocate hotline (253)243-3701 offers a confidential 24-hour crisis referral service for all public safety employees, all emergency services personnel, and their family members nationwide.