Trauma Fatigue and Secondary Trauma in First Responders: Recognizing the Signs and Communicating Your Needs to Your Partner
- Responder Health Staff
- 6 hours ago
- 6 min read
First responders - such as Firefighters, Law Enforcement Officers, EMTs, Dispatchers, and Emergency Medical Professionals - are routinely exposed to trauma, crisis, and human suffering as part of their daily work. Overtime, repeated exposure to these experiences can lead to compassion fatigue - emotional and physical exhaustion from caring for others - and secondary traumatic stress (STS), which occurs when trauma symptoms develop from exposure to others suffering. These conditions can affect emotional well-being, strain relationships, and reduce overall quality of life. For example, a dispatcher’s partner may feel anxious, helpless, or even on edge after listening to distressing work stories, while also trying to navigate their loved one’s irritability or emotional withdrawal. Overtime, the partner may feel disconnected, overwhelmed, or unsure of how to provide support. These signs, if continued, have the potential to affect the relationship if not acknowledged and addressed.
Compassion Fatigue and Secondary Trauma
Compassion Fatigue: Compassion fatigue refers to the emotional and physical exhaustion that results from prolonged exposure to others suffering and the ongoing demand for empathy and care (Figley, 2002). It can emerge suddenly, even in highly motivated and well supported professionals. Compassion fatigue is directly tied to relational and emotional engagement with trauma survivor.
Secondary Traumatic Stress: Secondary traumatic stress (STS) Occurs when an individual develops trauma related symptoms (intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, emotional numbing, avoidance, etc.) through indirect exposure to traumatic events, such as hearing detailed accounts or witnessing others distress (Figley, 1995; Stamm, 2010). STS Can mirror post-traumatic stress symptoms but arises from secondary exposure, not first-hand trauma.
For first responders, being exposed to extreme, physical, and psychological conditions are occupational risks, not personal failures. What often comes to mind when discussing occupational stressors can be the experience of burnout. Feelings of burnout can be common when navigating the weight of service. However, it is important to create a clear distinction between compassion fatigue, STS, and burnout - a trauma exposure response verse occupational stressor response. Burnout is a work-related condition that develops gradually due to chronic occupational stress such as excessive workload, lack of control, insufficient support, or organizational strain. It is characterised by emotional exhaustion cynicism, or detachment, and reduced professional efficacy (Maslach & Leiter, 2016). Burnout is not trauma based and can occur in any profession, regardless of exposure to traumatic material. While these concepts can be overlapping, and many times are, compassion fatigue and STS are trauma exposure responses, not an organizational stress response. Emotional, physical, cognitive, and relational symptoms can appear due to trauma exposures, common signs could include and are not limited to:
Emotional numbness, irritability, or feeling overwhelmed
Increase anxiety, sadness, or anger
Difficulty sleeping or reoccurring intrusive thoughts
Decrease interest in intimacy or desire
Withdraw from loved ones or loss of interest in activities
Increased conflict with partner
Feeling misunderstood, unsupported, or emotionally distant
(Guo, 2024; Psychology Today, n.d.)
Impact on Relationships
Compassion fatigue and STS can strain relationships by disrupting communication, emotional connection, and trust. First responders may avoid talking about work to protect their partner; resulting in partners feeling shut out, helpless, or confused by emotional withdrawal or mood changes. Without open communication, both individuals may feel isolated despite caring deeply for one another. Partners of first responders may also experience secondary trauma by absorbing stress, emotional changes, or stories shared at home. Partners of first responders may also experience secondary traumatic stress by absorbing the emotional burden of their loved one’s work. For example, a law enforcement officer may come home after responding to a violent crime scene and share their experience with their partner. Overtime, the partner may develop symptoms such as anxiety, intrusive thoughts, difficulty sleeping, or heightened starter responses, even though they were not directly involved in the incident. They may also notice increased tension or emotion withdrawal from the officer, which constrain the relationship if not addressed through open communication, support, or trauma informed interventions (Figley, 1995; Guo, 2024; Stamm, 2010; Psychology Today, n.d.).
It is important to remember that sharing the stress of the workday does not necessarily mean a partner will develop compassion fatigue or secondary trauma. Likewise, expressing work related stress is not an intentional attempt to burden the loved one. Instead, it can reflect a desire to connect, be supported, and feel heard. Each individual has their own threshold for holding emotional space for partners experiences, which makes it essential to have open conversations about boundaries, needs, and expectations when practicing both vulnerability and support. Knowing what the relationships protective factors are, and practicing them, can also decrease the impact of stress on the couple. An example of protective factors are shared values / goals, social supports, hobbies, sense of purpose, physical health, intimacy, religion / spirituality, and having a conflict resolution strategy (Karimi et al., 2019, p1.).
Communicating Your Needs
Supportive and needs based communication is essential for mitigating the relational impact of trauma. Partners can support first responders (and vice versa) by listening, working to control the impulse to jump in and fix a perceived problem for their loved one. While “fixing it” can feel more comfortable in the moment, it can also have the opposite of their intention. As an alternative to “fixing”, practicing validating their loved one’s emotions, encouraging rest, and gently suggest professional support when needed. Below are a few strategies to support enhancing your communication:
Use “I” statements (I think, I feel, I need) to express your lived experience with clarity and without blame. Example: “I THINK today has been very difficult for me, I FEEL overwhelmed, and I NEED some quiet time to decompress.”
Set boundaries and expectations around trauma sharing, clarifying when and how much detail feels safe for both partners. Following with expressing the type of support you want. Example: alone time, distraction, help problem solving, or listening.
Leaning on each other to find comfort in the discomfort of allowing our partners to have/express their emotions, and engage in their emotional regulation strategies (crying, running, a car ride with a loud music, screaming into a pillow, working out, and even engaging in various sports - to name a few).
Ask directly for the support you want, whether that means listening, physical comfort, space, or practical help. Kind and direct language on the support you want, can help alleviate the confusion of mind reading and assuming what our partner needs incorrectly.
Concluding Thoughts
Addressing compassion fatigue and secondary trauma early can be a powerful support in maintaining relationship satisfaction. Peer support, trauma informed therapies, and couples counselling can be powerful tools for strengthening resilience. Self-care, connection, and honest communication are not signs of weakness - they are essential components of sustainability in first responder careers and relationships. Sometimes, we need to show up for ourselves, so we can continue to show up for others. By recognising the signs an intentionally communicating needs, first responders and their partners can protect both their mental health and their connection to one another.
"YOU ARE WORTH THE TIME INVESTMENT IN YOUR WELLNESS."
If you or a family member are having any issues with mental health or relationships, please reach out for help. Responder Health (responderhealth.com) is an organization that offers resources specifically for first responders and their families. Responder Health provides confidential and full-service solutions that support first responders through stress and traumatic events, and provides them with the education, resources, and community they need to live healthy, happy lives. Our peer advocate hotline (253)243-3701 offers a confidential 24-hour crisis referral service for all public safety employees, all emergency services personnel, and their family members nationwide.
References
Figley, C. R. (1995). Compassion fatigue: Coping with secondary traumatic stress disorder in those who treat the traumatized. Brunner/Mazel.
Figley, C. R. (2002). Compassion fatigue: Psychotherapists’ chronic lack of self care. Journal of Clinical
Psychology, 58(11), 1433–1441. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.10090 Guo, L. (2024). Compassion Fatigue: What Is It, Causes, Symptoms | Osmosis. Osmosis.
Karimi, R., Bakhtiyari, M., & Arani, A. M. (2019). Protective factors of marital stability in long-term marriage globally: A systematic review. Epidemiology and Health, 41, e2019023.https://doi.org/10.4178/epih.e2019023
Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2016). Understanding the burnout experience: Recent research and its implications for psychiatry. World Psychiatry, 15(2), 103–111. https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.20311
Psychology Today. (n.d.). Compassion fatigue. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/compassion-fatigue Stamm, B. H. (2010). The concise ProQOL manual (2nd ed.). ProQOL.org.
Comments